My Mother's Garden
My Maman – Life's Ultimate Gardener
Probably the best metaphor for mothering is gardening. The women I admire most, I think of as master gardeners. These women don’t seek greener pastures elsewhere, they tend the grass right where they are, and cultivate their own gardens. They nurture and instill structure when needed, allow things to grow a little bit wild sometimes and ensure everything gets enough sunshine and water—but not too much. They do the tough job of identifying weeds and rooting them out.
I think of my Maman, Vicky, as the ultimate master gardener. She's lived in many different places and circumstances and brought love, beauty, principle and joy to each one of them—in good times and in bad. Growing up, we absolutely adored our mother and loved spending time with her. Of course, we completely took all that she did for granted: the beautiful homes she created, the delicious meals she prepared, the hours she spent helping us with our homework, driving us to and from our activities, attending our events and performances. The loving arms she always had opened to us for a quick hug as we ran out the door or for a huge cry. She was endlessly unselfish, giving, and patient. She was always my best friend and role model and taught me everything that was important in life: that value has nothing to do with money, that style has nothing to do with labels, that love is a verb, that family comes first, and so much more.
Now that I’m a mother myself, I laugh at how incredible all that she accomplished was. I remember calling her very specifically and saying, “How on earth did you do all of this?!” I finally began to understand how hard being a master gardener was. And yet she is the ultimate swan, graceful and elegant on the surface although she was paddling like hell underneath. And she still mothers me (thank goodness)! She’ll let me know when I’m out of line or need to pay more attention to something important. She’s still my best friend, and we are having more fun together as grown women than ever. Our bond just gets deeper and wider every year. Because a seed well planted and nurtured blooms sweeter every year.